MESSAGE FROM THE BLUE ROOM (Part 2B)

ORGASM

We are in an era where there’re lots of education, knowledge and information which are easy accessible, yet there’re few who have access to them. However, those that get access to some of these information and knowledge don’t use the right approach whiles others get them from wrong medium and hence apply them wrongly in their daily lives.

These has gone on for a very long time and it’s affecting many lives and destines. Also there’re issues of life which is really disturbing this our generation but hardly address because of wrong and negative perceptions and lack of proper education and understanding most people have concerning them. One of these delicate issues is Sex and orgasm.

Sex and orgasm is very important subject to be looked critically into and addressed it very well enough to bring great and tremendous results to those who engage in.

In the olden days it was one of the major issues of life which many saw it as a taboo and therefore refuse or didn’t want to have anything to do with. Due to that, many negative perceptions, misconceptions and ideologies were built around that and it has affected many lives and still affecting. Basically in the black land (Africa), their understanding and attitude towards it is extremely poor and bad. Very bad due to the mind-sets we have about it and so it is left unattended or properly addressed. But thank God now things are changing, educationist, researchers and doctors have come to a realisation that the subject sex and orgasm is a great thing to look into it again and therefore in-depth knowledge is done about it, and am proud to be one those great researchers, who is helping changing the negative perception, ideology and misconception about the subject sex and orgasm.  In this article, you’re going to know and understand what orgasm is, it’s important or benefits, and how you can access it, enjoys it and also benefit from that.

My background as an alternative health practitioner and consultant has made me come across so many who do have sex but knows nothing about orgasm and therefore not enjoying it or benefiting from it.

Some years ago at the consulting room, after meeting clients, especially those with sexuality issues, I sat down and begun asking myself so many questions. Most of them knew nothing about orgasm, even the sex they do, they just do it for doing sake because they don’t even understand the sex itself, yet alone climaxing.

WHAT THEN IS ORGASM

In general definition, an orgasm is described as a feeling of intense pleasure that happens or felt during sexual intercourse or activity. It’s sometimes called climaxing.

Or in a simple put, the peak of sexual excitement experienced or felt during sex or love making. Other medical professionals have different ways of explaining orgasm depending on their field of speciality.

Psychologist and mental health practitioners have use emotional and cognitive changes to explain or describe what orgasm is.

Physiological changes to the body has also been used as a bases by other medical professionals to describe how they understand orgasm to be. However, orgasm process differs greatly between individuals.

My research lead me to discover great people like, Alfred Kinsey, William H. master and Virginia Johnson. Alfred explained and based orgasm on models in his write up (Sexual Behaviour in Humans) male and female, forwarded by Virginia and William. These models includes

• Excitement
• Plateau
• Orgasm (Feeling)
• Resolution

These models works differently in both male and female. Let look at them as it works differently on both male and female as the findings revealed. Starting with that of female

FEMALE ORGASM

The Excitement

When a woman is well stimulated physically or psychologically, the blood vessels within her genitals dilate (becomes wide or enlarge or swell). Increased blood supply causes the vulvar to swell and fluid to pass through the vaginal walls, making the vulva swollen and wet. Internally, the top of the vagina expands. Heart rate and breathing quickens and blood pressure increases. Blood vessel dilation can lead to the woman appearing flushed, particularly on the neck and chest.

The plateau

As blood flows to the introitus, the lower area of the vagina reaches its limits, it becomes firm. Breast increase in size by as much as 25% and increased blood flow to the areola (that’s the area surrounding the nipple, causing the nipple to appear erected or protruded. The clitoris pulls back against the pubic bone seemingly disappearing in a way.

The Orgasm

The genital muscles including the uterus and introitus experience rhythmic contractions around 0.8 seconds apart. The female orgasm typically last longer than the male at an average rate of around 13-51seconds unlike men. Most women however do not have a refractory (recovery) period and so can have continuous or further orgasm in their stimulate organ.

The Resolution

Here the body gradually returns to its former state with swelling reduction and the showing of pulse and breathing

MALE ORGASM

Excitement

When a man is stimulated physically or psychologically, he gets an erection. Blood flows from the heart into the corpora, the spongy tissue running the length of the penis, causing the penis to grow or increase in size and becomes rigid. Testicles are drawn up towards the body as the scrotum tightens

Plateau

As blood vessels in and around the penis fill with blood, the glands and testicles increase in size. In addition, thigh and buttocks muscle tense, blood pressure rises the pulse and the rate of breathing increases.

ORGASM

Semen- a mixture of sperm (5%) and fluid (95%) is forced into the urethra by sense of contraction in the pelvic floor muscles, prostate gland, seminal vesicles, it then forces out of the penis in the process call ejaculation. The average male orgasm last for 10-30 seconds and the feeling increases highly twice more.

Resolution

The man now enters a temporary recovery phase where further orgasm are not possible. This is known as refractory period and its length varies from person to person depending on the amount of blood that feels the vessels of the penis. During this phase, the rate of breathing will be heavy and faster, the pulse will be faster as well. The man’s penis and testicles returns to their original size thereafter

My study revealed and brought me to know that there are various forms or types of orgasm and most of them are beneficial or mostly enjoyed by the females. This has led many writers and researchers of my kind named it or term it to be Female Orgasm.

Even with that, only few women knows, understands and enjoys it, whiles the rest are ignorant and therefore enjoys it not or never ever tasted it before since they started engaging in sexual intercourse. On this part of my write up, I will like to focus or place much emphasis on the female orgasm, for it is the main purpose of this very write up, that, I will let them (both male and female) know and understand what orgasm is all about, how to practice it and enjoy it the maximum and it’s  benefits.

I will share with you 7 different types or forms of orgasm. And each different types or forms have a different sensational feeling or excitement or plateau. These it includes;

The Clitoral Orgasm

This is the most common and easily one every woman no matter your ignorance should know and at least enjoy or achieve with or without a man. Whenever a woman is arouse the feelings start in the clitoris and send waves of pleasure throughout the body. This is done by gentling stimulating the clitoris with the tips of the fingers, (but make sure your finger nails are cut down and neatly kept to avoid cut and bacteria invasion of the vagina) continually or licking with clean mouth and tongue by a male partner. This is the most simplest and enjoyable one when done well. The clitoris is possibly the most nerve-rich area of the woman’s body all packed about 15000 nerve cells ending, like the size of a pea.

The Nipple Orgasm                                                                                                                                                                                              This is also another simple and common one. It is done or achieved by robbing it with the finger or by licking with the tongue. Most women with huge and long breast enjoy doing it themselves without the help of a man and even with the man during love making. Men on the other hand also enjoys it very much when done to them by their partners during foreplay (romance). The feeling of this orgasm is exceptional when done during sex. However, combining the two (clitoral and nipple orgasm) at the time of the act (sexing) can give a mind blowing feeling and excitement. Some women are likely enough to enjoy both when their male partner has master the two and knows to do it very well. Oh what a pleasure! Thank you God Almighty.

The G-spot Orgasm                                                                                                                                                          This is where the real orgasm begins. Located one-two maximum three inches inside the vagina upwards. The G-spot contains a huge amount of pleasurable nerve endings and is found to have a rough texture. The G-Spot orgasm can be exclusive but explosive when done properly by an expert, and this can or often time lead to leg shuddering sensation, making the woman scream and shivers intensely. This must be carefully done. To help achieve one, use a circular motion method during the intercourse by tilting the penis upwards and pushing it 1-3 inches in gently and slowly whiles working on the nipple or little legs scrubbing, kissing or licking the neck or the ear. Ouch! mmmm! Or sex from behind (not the anus) and gently hook a finger inside your partners pussy, this portion is done by an expert so don’t try if you are not because it can take up to 20-30mins to get this achieved when properly located and done.

The Anal Orgasm                                                                                                                                                                                                There are two sphincter at the base of the anus that expand and contract during orgasm anyway. So directly stimulate there gently. Use the little finger just to an inch inserting or rubbing the anus during sex or love making. This can lead to an intense orgasm. For that anal pleasure to be done, the place should be well and thoroughly cleaned for that purpose. Men also enjoy it as well when done on them.

The vagina Orgasm                                                                                                                                                                                This is mostly and commonly achieved with penetration, this is real type of orgasm and produce a deeper sensation, it takes a long time to achieve and require complete relaxation.

The Cervical Orgasm                                                                                                                                                                                      This is deep, deep, deep vaginal penetration. The penis goes deeper into the vagina to hit the cervix during sex. Men with long penis like 7-8 inches and those who do deeper penetration helps achieve this kind of orgasm. The cervix is the deepest part of the vagina canal right below the uterus.                                                        Missionary position with the man performing that thrusts is the best way to achieve this one, more so, doggy can do the magic or when the man lie backwards with the woman sitting on the penis with her back facing  the man.

The Combo Orgasm                                                                                                                                                                                        This is the craziest yet perfect and enjoyable one of all. Yes it is! This is achieved when all the type is done or three, four or more is done at the time of sexual intercourse. (Like combining and performing both clitoral, nipple, cervix and G-Spot. This is amazing and fantastic. If you don’t have time, please don’t try this kind or type of orgasm

I know by now you are excited to know all these and willing to try, perhaps you know some and probably have tried and tasted some. However there is some you didn’t know of it at all but you have known. Another person is also wondering why all these has never been experienced and tasted at all and is asking questions like, is there a problem, am I sick, what could be the a cause? Yes there is and there could. So kindly let me take this opportunity to share with you what could be the cause or problem to the reasons why some don’t enjoy orgasm or has never tasted it before.

As said earlier on, there’re several factors, conditions, causes and even health issues or disorders that can be the cause of these lack of orgasm or what we call orgasmic disorders. These causes or disorders also varies from person to person or genders (female and male). However, there will be or there’s a common cause which is of both sexes. The absence of having orgasm is known as anorgasmia. We have what we call also situational anorgasmia, that’s you’re able to have orgasm only in certain circumstances such as during oral sex, licking, masturbation, watching pornographic movies or pictures or only with a particular partner.

And also what we call generalized anorgasmia, that’s you aren’t able to have an orgasm in any situation or with any partner. Take a look at the following causes or hindrances to orgasm I discovered that can be or is to orgasm.

 

Health Issues                                                                                                                                                                                              A wide range of illness can interfere with orgasm. Serious illness or sickness such as multiple sclerosis and Parkinson diseases goes a very long way to affect the psychological well-being of a person hence hindering her from having orgasm.

Surgeries                                                                                                                                                                            Surgeries such as Hysterectomy and cancer surgeries can hinder orgasm and other medical conditions that can cause someone to undergone surgeries could be the cause

Medications                                                                                                                                                                                                          Many of the medications we do take to treat certain illness, especially those we normal buy and take on our own without any prescription by a qualified health personnel or consultant has series of side effects on our sexual life which then affect the sexual drive or libido and goes all the way to hinder us from climaxing or getting orgasm. Medications like some of the blood pressure drugs, antipsychotic drugs, antidepressants drugs, some pain relief drugs etc. On this, my candid advice will be fair and simple here, whenever you’re given a medicine to take for any particular illness or sickness, please ask your doctor or health practitioner or consultant about the possible side effect of that and if you’re educated or literate and can read, please do know before you take or search more about the medicine on the net to know of it. Don’t allow ignorance and naivety to kill or destroy you.

Alcohol and Smoking                                                                                                                                                                                                   Alcohol and smoking often causes poor erectile functioning. For women, it can dehydrate the vagina, causing penetration to be uncomfortable and even painful. Smoking also damages the arteries, affecting blood flow to the genitals, and it leads to loss of desire and arousal in both men and women. In terms of alcohol consumption, most of us know and testify that, having a drink or two before sex may help us relax and ease inhibitions but doing this at the end of the will disturb your life. Aside all these, the smell alone can cause someone or a partner to loss interest in the act.

Aging                                                                                                                                                                                                                 As you are aging, normally there’s going to be changes in your anatomical system, hormones or hormonal changes (imbalance), neurogical system as well as the circulatory system, this will definitely affect your sexuality which is of a key factor no one generally cause to the Majority. One desire to have sex or orgasm keep declining day in out as you aging.

Psychological Causes                                                                                                                                                         Psychological causes or issues are numerous to talk about, some includes; mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, sexual guilt, past bad sexual experiences like rape, emotional abuse, embarrassment, stress and financial pressure, poor body image or shape or appearance. All these that goes on within the mental faculty goes a long way to affect our sexuality or orgasm.

Cultural and Religious believe system                                                                                                                                                   In a certain part of the world where religion and cultural believe system is dominating and enslaving them, their understanding and believe system is very poor and disturbing, especially in the African continent, they see talking about sex or sexuality as a taboo or forbidden to mention, so there’re a lot of misconception and myth about sex. The few that has little knowledge also have different negative perceptions surrounding it, this and out of fear of breaking sexual taboos make it difficult for them to even cross the limit to educate others on sex. Living in such a society or community and growing within this environment will eventually affects ones sexual reasoning and understanding, let alone to know, understand and experience what orgasm is.

 

Relationship Issues                                                                                                                                                                                  Many of the problems or happenings that goes on in our relationships are also contributing factors, issues like lack of communication, unresolved conflicts, violence, cheating or infidelity, poor communication to sexual needs and preferences. This disturbing happenings in relationships affect our thinking and reasoning status, which affect ones sexual life.

Poor Personal Hygiene                                                                                                                                                                                        This is one area or aspect I want you to pay attention to. It one of the causes that leads to lack of orgasm, yet many hasn’t come to a realisation of it and therefore pay less attention to that. Sex is for all and must be enjoyed by all mutually so anything that could be a hindrance to one’s pleasure or enjoyment shouldn’t be entertained and should be checked and dealt with well. Unable to maintaining good personal hygiene can decrease or put off ones affection or sexual feelings or libido. Your surroundings (compound, sitting room, bedroom etc.) has to be well-kept and cleaned and always appealing and ready to arouse your partner for sex. Keeping the body cleaned and neat always, smelling good and refreshing, bathing twice, brushing teeth twice to prevent mouth odour and cavity, shaving neatly. Even the colour choosing, and how you dress your bed is another thing to consider or pay attention to. I won’t want to talk much about hair at the pubic or private places because with that particular one, is of individual preferences, in that, some like it bushy and get easily aroused when seen bushy, partly or partially shaved is what drives another person on whiles some want it shaved skin to skin, which ever ways, the place must always be cleaned and of a good smell. Twice a day bathing and brushing of the teeth is very important here. Finally on this topic orgasm, I will like to end by letting you know the benefits or importance of orgasm so you know what you’re missing if you haven’t enjoyed or ever have a feel of it. Perhaps you will want to have a change of mind thereafter. Hahaha!

Benefits or Importance of Orgasm                                                                                                                                                                   From what is read and studied so far above, there’s no doubt that orgasm been intertwined with sex, is necessary, important or beneficial to those who do enjoy or have a feel of it. The benefits or importance of orgasm is numerous and are there to help those who taste it when properly practiced and achieved. Though an orgasm isn’t necessary for sex and masturbation to feel pleasurable as some writers may have putting it, few will also deny that and therefore say reaching the big O is a great gain or bonus added. But beyond just feeling great and excited, an orgasm also brings about lots of unknown and unexpected benefits many of which, most have no or less knowledge, including even those who have been practicing it. It now my duty to let you know some of these benefits or importance orgasm brings, I can’t state everything here in this very write up but will some which is of equally useful to know. Amongst these health benefits include;

Helps with Brain Functioning                                                                                                                                                                                                     A certified sex therapist, neuroscientist, author of ‘why Good Sex Matters’ and ‘Glamour’s Sex’ explained that good sex and better achieved orgasm boost your immunity. The brain manufactures and release substances called neurotransmitters and neuropeptides during sexual stimulation and orgasm. These substances are wonderful for your overall physical and emotional wellbeing. They can reduce stress hormones, improves sleep, boost mood etc. Orgasm releases what we call oxytocin (a hormone that accompanies pleasure) and decreases Cortisol (which signals stress), this helps prevent rashes stress put on the skin as the hormones are released. Oxytocin goes a long way to improve a person’s mood and makes him/her live happily and peacefully among relatives. Touching, hugging and kissing increases oxytocin as does breastfeeding and having orgasm said by Dr. Gerish

Orgasm Boost Sleep mood and make you sleep better.                                                                                                                                  Having a good and better sex time hence reaching orgasm or climaxing help you fall asleep faster and sleep very well. Sleeping better in fact is one of the best health benefits of sex and orgasm. The post-sex rush of the hormones production at sex and orgasm helps you doze off quickly, oxytocin and vasopressin all released assist in that. Chris Brantner a certified sleep science coach and founder of sleepzoo.com wrote on psychological note that, during sexual stimulations, endorphin hormones releases serves to ease anxiety and relaxes the body enough to cause you doze or sleep off quickly right after quality sex and getting the orgasm.

Orgasm helps lower the risk of prostate Cancer in men especially in older men.                                                                                  Regular and frequent ejaculation can help ward off prostate cancer. Per a decade long study published research in the British journal of urology international stated that ejaculation at least four times a week and 21 times a month helps that. Also testified and published base on experienced and educational background by Noble Professor Raphael Nyarkotey Obu in one of his books Black Man and Prostate Health stated also that, ejaculation four times a week and 21 times a month lower a man’s risk for prostate cancer by up to 30% in men over 50yrs.

Dr Raph also stated in his book base on his studies and research that it is dangerous and therefore very bad for a man on his prostate health to go through fondling or romance and not ejaculated. Women that fondle men to orgasm and prevent them from ejaculating is not doing them good at all. If you’re not ready to allow him have sex with you to ejaculate or work on him to release semen, please don’t wet his appetite and later deny him for any obvious reasons. Most women use this method as a means of punishment for their partners. Stop it for you’re not helping him.

Orgasm helps you Relate or Cohabitate well with others.                                                                                                                                                      Many at times we wonder why certain people shows up or put up some weird attitude or behaviour within the environments they find themselves (i.e. work place, market, church vicinity etc.). The way they response and react to issues or occurrences raise questions to their attitude or character. Some are too weird to be understood. Most of these people if chance or opportunity is given for you to go into their life, one could realise they’re lacking satisfaction in bed (orgasm), making them acting that way for their brain functioning is improper. In that, the brain releases too much stress hormones and the amount of oxytocin produce is minimal. The oxytocin, endorphin and cortisol helps in proper brain functioning and helps create good mood leading to feeling excited and happy most times. According to 2012 study by evolutionary psychologist at the University of Michigan and Albright College in Pennsylvania revealed that, the more one’s partner hugs, kiss, cuddle, touches, feels happy and excited, the more one is likely to even fall asleep after good sex, and the stronger the desire for good bonding. Said Daniel Kruger and I vividly and personally agree with him. Oxytocin on your social orbit outside the bedroom revealed that, instead of traditional fight or flight response to social conflicts where people get revived up to a challenge or run away from it, oxytocin may help promote the trend and befriend response where people reach out to others for excellent support that can in turn strengthens social bonding and may be a healthier way to cope or cohabitate peacefully. Oxytocin makes one feel good and happy, making one feel a sense of belonging and accepted due to the peaceful relationships established. This will make one take time to react or respond positively to unexpected occurrences that befall us or life pushes to our way most times. When this happens, there will be to some extent peace and harmony amongst us within our environs.

Orgasm Helps Skin Glowing and Hair formation                                                                                                                             During sex, the rate at which the heart works is faster or twice the normal beating or rating. This helps with proper blood circulation and functioning by sending blood to all parts of the body and by so doing gives the largest organ ‘Skin’, an ease to radiate and regulate fluid, making the skin plumper lips, leaving it vibrant. Love hormones oxytocin that is released makes stress hormones cortisol go down. As cortisol drips off or down, so does inflammation of the skin, making pimples and rashes like eczema less appearing. After sex and when asleep, melatonin an antioxidant released during sound sleep help fight off sun damages and saggy skin. The blood flow during sex increases the amount of water transferred to your skin, helping it properly regulating and hydration is here essential for beautiful and healthy complexion. Having an orgasm raises the level of oestrogen in your body. Oestrogen is a female sex hormone which aids in the prevention of aging skin. It prevents the decrease of collagen, an important protein for maintaining the appearance of youthful skin, it helps also with skin thickening, keeping skin resistance to wrinkles. This same collagen helps the proper growth and formation of the hair, making the hair growing shiny, silky and bulky.

Orgasm Helps in proper functioning of the Heart hence regulating Blood Pressure                                                                         A quality sex is good for your heart. Besides been a great way to raise your heart rate, sex helps keep your oestrogen and testosterone levels in balance. When either any of these is low, it begins to give problems to the body, such as osteoporosis and even heart diseases like irregular heartbeat. Sexual intercourse or act makes the heart rates work faster than normal beating, this has even made people and scholars describing sex as an act of exercising. Though it won’t replace treadmill, gyming, playing on the field etc. The little push ups one does during the act helps the body sweat and burns about 4-5 calories per minutes. Dr. Joseph. J. Pinzone MD, the CEO and medical director of wellness and endocrinology, said that one landmark study he did found out that sexual intercourse specifically (not masturbation) lowered systolic blood pressure. Another research done in New England Research Institute also revealed that during orgasm, your body releases a steroid into the blood that is known to help reduce heart attack risk.

These and many, many more sex and orgasm can give you or will give you. Don’t just have sex after knowing all these I have shared with you and understanding sex and orgasm and its benefits my dear reader. Also don’t just allow anyone to play with your feelings, sexuality or sexual life. No I mean never!

I therefore on this note conclude by saying ‘sex without Orgasm is rape’ and in fact it very and extremely annoying to sex without orgasm

Also I say an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.

Thank you very much for taking time to read through and sharing. Your views and comments are welcome and highly appreciated. Help share to others so we can all learn, understand and enjoy better things to bring a change to our sexual lives for building up wonderful society.

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